Motivation vs. Hunger?

Where to start…

I’ve been feeling very unproductive lately. I haven’t been spending as much time in my studio since my power converter blew. Now that I’m done recording the Recipe and it’s in the mixing and mastering stage (God bless Swerte and Milton), I should be getting back on track recording other acts and producing for other artists and myself. But for some reason, there is no real motivation to go in there and grind something out. I’m hungry for it, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes if you’re not comfortable in an environment, no matter how hungry you are, you can’t force things. I never force things anymore, cuz I know if I do, it’ll be as whack as shit.

There’s like a certain zone you gotta hit in order to come up with shit. Inspiration is tough to have in a place like Dubai. So I was just wondering to myself Friday morning as the sun was coming up, I’m hungry to make beats, write tracks etc. but I’m not motivated. Brought it up to some friends, and well, they told me motivation gets you hungry, while others said hunger gets you motivated. If I HAD to agree with either it would have to be the latter “hunger gets you motivated.” I believe they are two interlinked concepts with different triggers.

When I am motivated to do something, I will continue to push, pursue and be persistent in my chase of a particular goal. However motivation is something based on morale. If my morale is high, then my motivated actions can be seen by anyone observing the situation. If I hit a road block (which believe me, I sometimes feel that I’m in the West Bank constantly hittin these damned IDF checkpoints) it slowly eats at a brother’s motivation. Where as hunger, is a desire, it’s a feeling I feel in my stomach (no pun intended). I think it’s even more emotional. For example:

I own the first season of Scrubs, and I watch the entire thing, I enjoy it and all. So at this point I have developed a hunger for season 2 and become motivated to obtain the second season. I try to download it, however I can’t get my hands on the entire season, or my internet connection is so whack that eventually my motivation starts to die after so many failed attempts. With time, my hunger will die to watch that second season and that’s the end of the story. (Props to E-lizzle for the discussion)

Now my hunger to make music is unquestionable. When I make a hot beat, I start dancing around like Carlton from Fresh Prince and shit…but the question is where the hell is the motivation supposed to come from? Now the problem is no matter how strong your hunger is, it has no control over your motivation; cuz motivation is something that is developed through a series of fortunate events, such as people giving you props, getting public/media/peer recognition, a song or a show is a great success, etc. Now hit enough road blocks and that balance of positives and negatives will be tilted into the red zone (negative) – at which point you become de-motivated. Become de-motivated long enough, and your hunger will start to diminish.

Ha, now I’m not invincible or bulletproof or immortal. But I know my hunger is, because it is triggered from something completely not related to music. My hunger in music sprouts from a completely different cause, even though not all my music is about that cause. So now that I’ve identified the trigger for hunger in my music, how do I figure out my trigger for motivation? I’ve come to the conclusion that this is something that I have to force. Lyrics I can never force; those letters and words put together, come naturally from a source that I don’t even know and at weird times (in the club, in the bathroom, in bed, in the car – wherever). But making beats is an art that I have to actively pursue. I love beatmaking. The feeling of making a hot beat is indescribable. It’s like an orgasm on a completely different level, or a sober high that exceeds any intoxicated one. So this is where the forcing has to come through.

From now on, I have promised myself to make at least one beat a week. It’s a very fair challenge to me, considering I haven’t even been spending one day a week in the studio. I figure this will trigger some shit in my head and will get the motivation train rolling again. Eventually I’ll raise the bar, and start making two beats a week. I mean there have been days where I’ve made 3 beats a day. So that is what I think could be the remedy and trigger to get the motivation back up. I don’t even know if that shit will work, but what the hell, it’s worth a shot…So the questions I have are these:

Does Hunger drive motivation or is it the other way around? Can the death of motivation gradually kill your hunger? What triggers motivation – is it really positive indicators that show you’ve been goin in the right direction?

Lemme know what u think…sorry bout the philosophical shit…but just been in a weird place lately…